Pregnanthood - Part 2

My wife is now 8 weeks pregnant. Despite having to go through the difficult first few months of pregnancy, she still have to work during the day, sometimes on some evenings.

She threw me a question before, "Why do women have to go through such difficult moments. Not only is it tiring when one is pregnant but a woman has to go through a very painful and agony time during labor as well".

I replied jokingly about the sin Eve had done before by offering to Adam the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden and God has decided that men will have to work hard to earn a living for his family whereas women will have to bear the pain of labor.

My wife replied, "It's not fair. Because women nowadays work to earn a living too".

Unfortunately, she is right. Women in the past used to stay home to look after the children and the family needs. Earning money for a living is never an issue for them, even till my mom's generation but things have now changed. An average family needs to have working parents in order to go through a more comfortable living unless either parents are very well-to-do. A single working parent in a family will only create more stress to the person working out there to make a living. In our recent days, it's even hard for a single to enjoy a really comfortable life without having to worry about the empty pocket by the end of the month before the salary can be withdrawn, what more to say feeding another person or maybe even another child with the same amount of income plus the need to secure some for retirement.

Being a husband whose wife is pregnant, the first few months of pregnancy proves to be very antagonizing moments. My wife who is exhausted most of the time plus the nausea that she is feeling right now has to work everyday, sometimes during weekends and public holidays. She even has to work in some of the evenings as scheduled.

She vomitted on Monday at the parking space near her parents' house. She vomitted again last night at my parents home after dinner as she was getting ready for the evening shift. Although I am not the one experiencing those agony and discomfort, I could see that she is really exhausted due to the pregnancy and the symptoms that occured. I could not pretend to understand how it feels to be in such state but looking at her helplessly really punctured my heart.

There are moments when I felt that she should resign from her work but that proved to be a little extreme. Spending about 7 years to master what she has studied and given the fact that she is doing something she enjoys doing, to quit just like that and become a fulltime housewife feeels a little too much. Besides, I fear of future social problems if she is to quit working and stayed home. Although Jesus has blessed us abundantly and we are never lack of anything, I feel that what I am doing right now is still not sufficent to give my wife and my future child a good life.

Pregnancy is really a very difficult moment. I salute my mother who has carried me around for 9 months before I was born, taking gentle care of me and investing her time on me until I am who I am right now. Not having the chance to witness such difficult moments of pregnancy really make it hard for me to appreciate what our mothers have done for us.

All I can do right now is to pray to Jesus everyday for HIS help to ease my wife's suffering. May the first trisemester ends soon so that she will start to enjoy her pregnancy more than now.

Pregnanthood (if such word exists)

Making babies is easy but bringing up babies is hard... How nice it is to be indulged in romantic love making sessions with scented candles burning, cool air conditioner blowing, nice and comfortable bed to sleep and the dim lighting just nice to let you fall asleep right after sex.

The sperms then did their job by swimming across the large ocean, in search of their soul mate (the ovum) and be joined together, never to be separated again. Once together, they produce and reproduce a lot of cells to form another human being and come out a new baby.

Let's just forget first about bringing up a baby after he or she is born. Even in the pregnancy period, things have not been easy. Having to cope with morning, afternoon and evening sickness (who says sickness happens only in the morning), the pregnant mother has to be strong to go through the tiredness, the exhaustion of her body due to the hormonal changes as well as bodily changes to accommodate the new baby inside the womb.

How lucky it is for the rich ones who can afford to stay at home, relax themselves and to have the privilege of the help from the servants to prepare everything. Tough it is for those who have to go out to work as if the exhaustion from the pregnancy is not enough to wear them down. As if child bearing is not tiring enough, the expectant mother have to go through series of check ups, queuing up at the local clinics, taking injections, taking supplements as well as having their blood drawn for blood testing and so on. The waiting period itself is so tiring even to those who sit there waiting.

Not only is pregnancy not easy for the mom, the dad has to play his part too (besides, he is also taking part in the fun and pleasure during sex). To have to accompany the wife to the clinic, to do the house chores, to try to make the wife enlightened during her downs (because of hormonal change) and not to forget a little bit of scoldings here and there by the exhausted wife. Blessed are those with work which he can arrange himselves, without having to follow any office hour. Blessed are those dad to be who do not have deadlines for their work, for they can arrange to complete their work at their own sweet time. But still, no matter how easy the work is, physical and mental exhaustion is still something unavoidable.

Although it is a wonderful experience to have a child, the process even from the beginning (except sex) is not an easy one. Now, before we do something that might hurt our family, should we twice and try to understand how hard it is for our parents to bring us up even when we were several weeks old, inside the womb...

Pregnancy

To any married couples, pregnancy is a joyful thing to be celebrated unless for those who do not plan to have any child due to certain circumstances. Whatever reason one might have, I strongly believe that God has given us the DICKs and VAGINAs (eh hem, excuse me) not just for us to enjoy love making but to produce and multiply. As Psalms 127:3-5 says:

"Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate."

What a beautiful way to describe the birth of a child to the world. Being a first time parent is a wonderful experience. It's a situation whereby there's a mixture of joy and expectancy but also fear and uncertainty. Happy because the child is someone whom you are going to raise up together with your partner, a symbol of love between the couple, someone who is going to be your inheritance. Anxious and worried because you love the unborn child so much (of course you love the mother-to-be also) and it's the last thing in your to let any untoward incidents to be upon them.

I was googling the net, trying to search for more information that I need to know about the do's and dont's during pregnancy as well as the food to take and to avoid to produce a happy, healthy baby. During the first 10 minutes, I was enjoying myself with the vast and useful information provided from articles posted by doctors, experienced mothers and other internet surfers which seemed to be very logical. The advice to avoid over intake of oily and salty food as well as food which contain high cholesterol level, the advise to avoid half cooked and raw food to avoid bacteria infection are common sights to most articles written by westerners.

This is followed by advice to take nutritional food such as fresh vegetables (cooked of course), fresh fruits (washed thoroughly), meat and fish high in protein as well as food rich with carbohydrates. As it is very common for a pregnant lady to be anemic, the articles suggested increase intake of food rich in iron. Folic acid or folate is strongly recommended to prevent birth defects. During pregnancy, electrolytes such as potassium, sodium and chloride are very much needed to maintain the extra fluid in balance when the blood volume expands (it's claimed that the blood volume expands up to 50% during pregnancy).

Articles suggest lots of examples of fruits and food to take during the pregnancy. Bananas, oranges, watermelon(some controversy here during the later part), vegetables, meat, milk and grains are highly recommended food for mothers to be. There are a lot of other food varieties that have been suggested which actually get different kinds of opinions from different people.

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Westerners say: Pineapple is rich with Vitamin C. Good for pregnancy (take in moderation of
course).
Easterners say: Hamik? Pineapple cannot ar. Can abort one you know. People use it to abort
lei.

Westerners say: Banana, rich in potassium. Very good for pregnancy. Can help to reduce
cramps (take in moderation).
Easterners say: Warlau ei. Eat banana. Can not lei. I don't know why but people say can not,
can not lar.

Westerners say: Spinach is recommended because of it's iron contain. Good to prevent
anemia.
Easterners say: You think you are popeye mei. Eat spinach. Can not ar.

Westerners say: Coconut juice has lots of nutritional values. Recommended for pregnant
women (click here for more information). It may even prevent neonatal
jaundice.
Easterners say: Ngai ti. Coconut. Very cold lei. Not good.

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As a conclusion. I only get excited during the first 10 minutes of my surfing the net for information. The rest of the time is spent in doubt, trying to understand each suggestion of the do's and don't during pregnancy... Internet is indeed a place rich with information...

Please feel free to comment and email me suggestions about the do's and don't of pregnancy. I'd love to learn more.

p/s: Easterners: Oi, pregnant liaw, don't change bed sheet hor.
Westerners: Damn, am I going to lay on the same bed sheet for the next 9 months?