Feeling Blue...

Yesterday (29th April 2009) was the bluest day of the week that I have gone through. Woke up feeling tired despite the 8-hour-sleep, get prepared for work with my heart beating a little faster than normal resulting in my body a little weaker than those normal days. Not much things to accomplish at work today, lack of appointments (probably I was a little out of focus at work recently) and not in the mood to call anyone to follow up anything.

After spending my almost half day doing personal chores and stuck in the traffic jam, it was then almost 4pm. That's the time when the depression peaked. Received two phone calls, discussed over the phone about some obstacles encountered at work, feel very agitated with the way people who called themselves professional do things and resulted in my heartbeat getting faster, body temperature higher. Going home for early dinner as there would be another meeting in the office that evening. Didn't take anything for dinner at all because the appetite just not there. Didn't feel like talking either so I just sat there, quiet like a damn statue, trying to calm myself down.

Meeting was normal but not normal for me. As if the day's blue mood has not been sufficient, I felt very useless and belittle compared to the other associates working together with me. Everyone's hands is one certain task except me. Felt so out of the world... I could feel my energy seeping out of my body, no strength at all even to look up but to sit there quietly, all to myself.

The day before was not like that. It was a vibrant day, filled with excitement and energy. Hopes were high and spirit was great. How have things changed so dramatically. I am feeling better today. I was reading the Bible this morning and came across something which I would like to share here...

"...Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand..."

-Jeremiah 18:6-

This is only a part of the verse spoken by the Lord that I have taken. The Lord says that we are just like the clay in the hand of the potter with him as the potter. The elaboration of this verse is numerous but one thing that I got from this short verse is that God has in mind what He wants us to be. As long as we follow His will, His way and do our best for the day, things are going to work just fine. No doubt we have dreams, no doubt we have things that we want to achieve. It can't be denied that when we under achieve, we feel bad about it but God knows what's the best for us at that particular moment. He knows when are things supposed to come into our life and when some things need to be on hold first.

Easier said then done. Not easy to follow God's words but that's the reason why Jesus is there for us. There comes across another verse from the Bible which I think is useful to me (which I would like to share) especially when I am feeling really down and useless:

"God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."
-Genesis 1:27-

It's good to know that we are creation of God and we are created in His very own image. We are created to do great and create wonders in the world with His assistance...

One thing that no one alive can deny, one universal truth that we have to accept, "Above every dark clouds is a BRIGHT SUN that never fades".